


you have set your heart on haunting me

by orphan_account



Series: hauntedverse [1]
Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Demons, Ghosts, M/M, Multi, Supernatural Elements, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Strange things are happening to almost everyone in the small, rural  town of St Marysville and Brendon is no exception.After seeing a ghostly apparition in an abandoned church he is tortured by visions of a stranger with sad eyes and a beautiful voice.





	1. an apparition in an abandoned church

Brendon shivers. It had been a warm day, more like July than late September, but when night fell the air acquired a biting chill. He sticks out his hands as close to the bonfire as he can without getting burned. 

"Ooh!" Pete says "I have a good one!" They've been telling horror stories all evening, each one more overused than the last. 

"There was a young teenage couple driving through the woods?" William says in a monotone. Gabe cackles.

"No. Shut up you two," Pete says "I've got an actual good one. It takes place in this very town in fact, and is entirely factual." The group lets out a collective sigh.

"Nope. Absolutely not," Brendon says, crossing his arms over his chest "I'm not listening to this one again." 

"You don't even know what I was going to–" 

"The one about the abandoned church with the demon possession and ghosts?" Jon cuts him off.

"No," Pete says, Jon quirks an eyebrow "Fine. This is stupid anyways." 

"You know what could be fun," Gabe says, a manic glint in his eye "If we snuck into the church. Just to see what it's like in there, you know?" 

"This is like the beginning of the horror movie," Pete points out.

"I'm in," William says, leaping up from his seat on the the ground. 

"Sick," Gabe says "Anyone else?" 

"I guess I'll go," Pete sighs "but if we die, I called it." 

"I'll come too," Brendon says. The church they're talking about is only a little ways down the road from Brendon's house, he walks past it every morning to get to the bus stop and it's always intrigued him. How lonely and utterly deserted it looks standing alone in the shadow of a looming forest. He's always been curious about the inside.

Patrick and Jon look concerned, they're the mother hens of the group, so Brendon supposes it's only natural.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Patrick asks.

"Come on, Patrick," Pete says, offering a hand to help pull his friend off the ground "You've got to come. I refuse to die without you." Patrick rolls his eyes, but stands up anyway. Jon follows suit. It's lucky they chose to hang out at Brendon's house that night because it's such a short walk.

Brendon leads the way, cutting the thick darkness in front of him with the feeble beam of a flashlight. The country road is dusty beneath their feet and the dark forest lining either side feels like it's going to swallow them up. 

Brendon shudders. He's never liked leaving the comfort of his house after the sun sets, the impenetrable darkness of the woods has gives him chills. You never know what might be lurking in the trees. 

Suddenly a cold shock of terror pulses through Brendon, he regrets coming, but he knows that if he turns back Gabe won't ever let him hear the end of it so he surges ahead, his friends laugh and shout behind him. Only Jon walks with him, they don't speak.

The church comes into view, a ghostly silhouette against the dark backdrop of the forest. It sits on the other side of a field full of tall grass, prickers snag in Brendon's jeans as they trudge across.

"You scared, Bilvy?" Gabe says, grinning "Want me to protect you?" 

"Fuck off, Saporta," William says "We both know you're going to be the one losing your shot in there." 

The church's exterior is scrawled with neon graffiti. Mostly obscene phrases and crude pictures. The windows are boarded up, but Brendon is sure they are broken underneath. 

"I don't know about this, guys," Patrick says, nervously fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. 

"Hey," Pete says "it's just an abandoned building. It's not like any of the stories are true, don't be scared." Patrick still looks uneasy but climbs the rotting church steps with his five friends. Gabe is the one to open the door, they don't even need to pick a lock or anything, the doors just open when Gabe pulls the handle. 

Brendon swallows down the fear that rises as the door slowly creaks open. Blindly he reaches for Jon's hand and holds on tight, Jon squeezes his back just as hard. 

Gabe and William lead the way into the thick pitch darkness inside, Brendon, Jon, Pete and Patrick follow behind, clustered together, giggling to expel their nerves. The smell hits Brendon and makes him want to gag, it smells acridly of mold and cigarettes and rot. 

Brendon sweeps his flashlight across the pews, half expecting to see some demon crouched there, he laughs, feeling silly for being so frightened of an abandoned building. 

And then, Brendon catches a flicker of movement in the corner of his eye, his pulse quickens and he turns to face the pews on his left, his stomach twists. Sitting in one of the pews is a boy with brown hair, turned to face him with wide unblinking eyes.

Brendon screams and in his terror he loosens his grip on the flashlight and it crashes against the church's floor. 

"What the fuck?" William shrieks "Why did you do that?" Brendon doesn't answer just bolts for the door, his friends follow him. Brendon doesn't stop running until he's across the field and on the road again. 

"What the fuck, dude?" Gabe says breathlessly. 

"Didn't you see him?" Brendon asks.

"See who?" 

"The boy!" Brendon says "Or whatever he was, the one in the pews to the left." All of his friends exchange concerned glances.

"There wasn't a boy there," Jon says uneasily.

"Yes there was!" Brendon insists, looks at the rest of his friends with pleading eyes "One of you must have seen him." There's a tense silence before Gabe speaks.

"I didn't see anyone," he says "maybe you were imagining it?"

"I know what I saw, Gabe!" Brendon says indignantly "Do you all think I'm crazy?" 

"No!" Everyone choruses.

"It's just... maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. It was dark, you were already freaked out, it's not such a stretch." Patrick tries to reason with him. Pete chews his lip.

"Maybe it was a ghost," he suggests.

"Shut up, Pete," William mutters "That's not funny."

"No! I'm serious." 

"Can we just go home?" Brendon says. They trudge along the road, Gabe and William whisper to each other but the rest of the group is silent.


	2. dreaming of a stranger

Brendon dreams of a boy. 

He feels like he knows this boy, but his name eludes Brendon. It's there, sitting on his tongue. He can feel its shape in an abstract sense, but can't put sounds to it. 

The boy is colored in greyscale, like an old movie. Like film noir. They're sitting on the church steps and the boy is smoking a cigarette.

"Who are you?" Brendon breathes. The boy grins crookedly and takes a drag on his cigarette.

Brendon wakes abruptly, usually there is a gradual transition from dreaming to awake for him, but one minute he's on the church steps and the next he's staring up at his bedroom ceiling. Only once he wakes up does he fully recognize that the boy from the dream was the same one from the church. He blinks blearily and rolls over. 

There's no light filtering through the thin curtains on his window, so it must be early. A glance at the clock radio on his bedside table tells him it's barely four AM. He groans, he can never fall back asleep after waking up in the middle of the night. Or in the early hours of the morning, as was currently the case.

Brendon's door slowly opens and Jon slips into his room. Gabe, William, Pete and Patrick had gone home after returning from the church, but Jon had spent the night. 

"Hey," Brendon says, his voice rough with sleep. Jon turns around, looking startled "Where were you?"

"The bathroom," Jon explains "I thought you were asleep." 

"Mm. I was," Brendon says, yawning "Hey, can I ask you kind of a weird question." 

"Sure," Jon says "Is this about what happened last night?" Brendon nods.

"Do you think Pete could be right?" Jon gives him an inquisitive look "I mean about that boy I saw being a ghost?" Jon shrugs.

"I don't know dude..." he says "I mean a lot of people talk about having paranormal experiences, and it is pretty weird that no one saw him but you. I don't think we can rule it out." 

"Yeah," Brendon hums thoughtfully "I think you're right." Jon lies back down on the air mattress and within minutes his breathing is even and rhythmic. Brendon finds it harder to fall back asleep. He spends a few minutes staring blankly at the wall before grabbing his phone from the bedside table.

He searches 'deaths in St Marysville' and goes straight to the news tab. He's already heard about pretty much every suspicious or unusual death in the area since it's such a small town, so it's almost pointless, but he tries anyway.

The only newsworthy deaths from the past year are a fifty year old farmer who froze to death and a woman who overdosed on heroin in a public bathroom. He goes back as far as possible and there's no one who sounds even remotely similar to the boy Brendon saw. 

It's six AM by the time he falls back into a fitful sleep and he's woken two hours later by Jon shaking his shoulder. He groans. 

"Pete's outside. He wants us to come get breakfast at the diner with him." Brendon almost wants to tell Jon to tell Pete to fuck off, but decides instead to roll out of bed and forces himself to pull on a hoodie. He's still in his jeans from the night before.

"Morning," Pete greets them cheerfully. Brendon glares and slides into the back seat as Jon gets in the passenger's seat.

"Last night was pretty crazy, huh?" Pete says. 

"Well, it's not every night I see a ghost," Brendon mutters. 

"So you think it was a ghost too?" Pete says, glancing at Brendon in the mirror. 

"I mean..." he says "It sounds insane, but I know what I saw and I don't know what other explanations there could be so..." 

"I wonder why he appeared to you only," Pete murmurs, biting his lip thoughtfully. 

"I have no idea," Brendon says "I tried to do some research to see who has died in the area recently, but there was no one who even remotely matched the boy I saw." 

"How do you know he's died recently?" Jon asks.

"Jon has a point," Pete says "he could've died a hundred years ago for all we know." 

"No..." Brendon says "he was wearing a t-shirt and his haircut looked pretty modern. I think he's from the last twenty years at least." 

"We should go back," Pete says.

"I don't know, Pete," Brendon says cautiously "if he is a ghost, do we really want to fuck around with the supernatural." 

"Yes," Pete says, all too eagerly "I think we should hold a seance. Or bring a ouija board. Hell, maybe we won't even need to do any of that shit, maybe he'll appear to you again." 

Brendon is a lot warier about messing with the unknown, probably some residual superstition from his intensely religious upbringing. 

They pull into the nearly deserted parking lot of Rosie's Diner, the diner was pretty much the only place to hang out in a town as tiny and shitty as St Marysville, plus they made the best pancakes Brendon has ever had. 

Gabe, William and Patrick are already sitting in one of the old fashioned, red vinyl booths. Pete and Jon slide in next to Patrick, leaving Brendon to sit next to Gabe and William.

William is halfway sitting on Gabe's lap, and Gabe has his thumb hooked in the belt loops of William's skinny jeans. 

"Do you two have no sense of what is socially acceptable in public places?" Brendon grumbles as he sits down besides the affectionate couple.

"Um," William says.

"No," Gabe finishes for him. Pete doesn't even wait to order food before he starts talking about the ghost.

"So," He begins "as I was saying to Brendon and Jon a few minutes ago, I think we need to go back to the church and hold a seance." 

"Why the fuck would we do that?" William asks, frowning. 

"Brendon had a paranormal experience!" Pete said much too loudly "You aren't interested in finding out more about it?" 

"Jesus Christ, Pete," William says "he did not have a paranormal experience. He was freaked out, he was probably tired, his mind was playing tricks on him!" 

"I know what I saw," Brendon says, glaring at William "and I would appreciate it if you didn't put words in my mouth like that." William stands up and climbs over Brendon, Gabe follows him, dutiful boyfriend that he is.

"We're going home," William says "I don't want to involve myself in your delusional nonsense." I watched them leave the diner, Gabe whispering to William and keeping a steady, comforting hand on his back. 

When they're out the door Pete speaks again.

"God, what is up with him?" He mutters "I guess it's just us four, then." Patrick looks uncomfortable with the whole situation, but stays quiet. 

"So you want to go back tonight?" Jon asks. 

"No," Pete says "We need time to do research and get supplies. I say we do it next Friday night." 

And so, as casually as someone might decide to go to the movies or the arcade, the date for the seance was set.


	3. he won't hurt you

The first hint Brendon gets that something unusual is happening is before school starts, he's in the library with fifteen minutes to complete his assigned reading for English when Sisky comes up to him.

"Brendon!" He says, Brendon groans internally and looks up from his book "You're not going to believe what happened to me this weekend." 

"Hey, Sisky," he says "I really need to finish reading this so–"

"No, you need to hear what happened to me over the weekend, it's seriously crazy." 

"Fine," Brendon says "What happened?"

"I saw my grandmother's ghost," Brendon's eyes go wide and his posture stiffens.

"You what?" He asks. Sisky smirks, pleased to have captured his attention. 

"I saw my grandmother's ghost," he repeats "Everyone else in the house was asleep and I was up watching TV, I went into the kitchen  to get a glass of water and she was just standing there. She smiles at me and was like 'oh, hello Adam' and of course I freaked out and started yelling, but by the time my family got downstairs she was gone." 

"Are you sure you weren't–" imagining her. Brendon has to stop himself before he sounds like William. 

"I definitely saw her, man," Sisky says "And it's not just me. I've heard like three other people talking about seeing their dead relatives. Something weird is going on in this town." 

Yes, Brendon thinks to himself, something weird is definitely going.

  As the day progresses Brendon hears more and more stories about people's dead relatives showing up. It seems like half the people in the school saw some sort of ghost at some point during the weekend. By lunch he's practically bursting to talk to Pete or Jon or someone about it. 

He has lunch with Pete and Gabe, he half expects Gabe not to sit with them, but apparently he's only giving them the silent treatment when William's around because when Brendon walks into the cafeteria he finds Gabe and Pete sitting together. 

"Oh my god!" Is the first thing out of Pete's mouth when Brendon sits down "Can you believe this?" 

"The ghost sightings?" Brendon asks.

"Duh," Pete says "This is so crazy. Pretty much everyone has seen one." 

"Yeah..." Brendon says "It's really weird." He doesn't understand how Pete can be so gleeful about the sudden surge of paranormal encounters, the whole thing makes Brendon feel uneasy and on edge "Have either of you seen ghosts?" He asks. Pete and Gabe both shake their heads.

"Nope. I don't know if I will, none of my relatives or friends have died in this town." A realization suddenly comes over Brendon.

"Wait..." he mutters "everyone else has been seeing the ghosts of people they were close to. Why is my ghost just some random stranger?" 

"Shit," Pete says "I don't know. Maybe we'll find out at the seance." Brendon quirks an eyebrow.

"The seance is still happening?" He asks. 

"Well, obviously," Pete says and then starts rattling off all of the obscure ingredients that they'll need. Brendon just feels increasingly terrified as the minutes go by. 

Finally lunch is over and he can escape Pete's overenthusiastic claws for the marginally better refuge of Pre-Calc. When he's walking to his class he spots William, looking sick and panicked. His hair is a mess, there are dark circles beneath his eyes, he looks like he might burst into tears at the slightest provocation.

"Hey," Brendon says cautiously, they may be on slightly unsteady terms with each other, but they're still friends "Are you okay?" 

"Fine," William says in a strained, choked voice. 

"Do you want me to get Gabe for you?" Brendon knows that Gabe will be on his way to English and can probably intercept his route if he needs to. William nods wordlessly. 

Brendon weaves through the crowded hall to the section of the building where the English and art classrooms are, he stops Gabe a few paces in front of his classroom. 

"Dude," he says "Bill's freaking out." Gabe eyes go wide.

"What's wrong?" He asks, urgently.

"I don't know. He won't tell me, he wants you, though. He's in the upstairs hallways right by the science lab." Gabe nods his understanding and rushes off to find his boyfriend. 

...

Brendon spends the rest of the day worrying about William and staring at the clock, waiting for the day to be over. When the final bell rings at long last, Brendon leaps out of his seat and rushes to his car, where he calls Gabe and then William. There's no answer from either of them, so he decides to drive home.

He plans on getting some homework done, but he's drained and exhausted after the events of the past few days, there's no way he's ever going to focus on math, so he decides to take a nap instead.

He curls up under his heavy quilt and falls into a quiet, dreamless sleep. He's coaxed awake again by the sound of a soft singing voice. 

"I wandered through the moonlight," the voice sings, Brendon absently wonders if it's the radio before blearily opening his eyes and sitting up, when he sees the boy his breath catches in his throats and he presses himself back against the wall. 

It's the boy–no, the ghost–from the church. His eyes are closed and his face drawn into a concentrated expression, completely wrapped up in the song. Brendon wants to scream, but his voice refuses to leave his mouth.

He's not transparent or anything, but he has this faded quality, like an old photograph. His colors are duller than those of the world surrounding him. Now that Brendon gets a good look at him, he can see  something familiar in his face, whether he has seen this boy when he was alive or this was one of those times when something new held the cadence of a memory Brendon isn't sure. 

"What are you doing?" Brendon manages to choke out in his terror. The boy looks up, as if startled, he stares for a moment.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he assures Brendon.

"Who are you?" Brendon asks desperately "What are you?" The boy sighs and frowns.

"I don't want to talk about it," and then he's gone. There's no pop, no slow fade, no cloud of smoke. He's  there one second and in the time it takes Brendon to blink he is gone. 

Brendon stares down at his trembling hands. He takes a moment to breathe deep and force himself to stop freaking out, then he takes out his phone and dials Pete's number. 

"Pete, he was in my room," he says before Pete can speak.

"Who was–"

"The boy– I mean the ghost from the church." 

"Shit," Pete breathes quietly "what happened?" 

"I got home and took a nap. When I woke up he was just sitting in my room. I asked him who he was and he said he 'didn't want to talk about it' and disappeared into thin air." There's a long pause on Pete's end.

"Did he say anything else?" Pete asks quietly.

"He told me that he wasn't going to hurt me," Brendon says.

"Do you think he was telling the truth?" Brendon hesitates for a minute. 

"Yeah..." he says "I do."

—


	4. like he's bleeding

"I just don't understand..." Brendon groans. Pete had shown up at his house half an hour after Brendon had called him. 

"What?" Pete asks.

"I never knew this guy when he was alive, why is he appearing to me now?" 

"I have no idea, dude," Pete sighs "you should try and asks him if you see him again." 

"I don't think he wants to tell me," Brendon argues "I think if we're going to find out anything else, we're going to need to figure out who he was, and since he's not going to tell me I think we're going to need to find out for ourselves." 

"But how?" Pete asks "You said you already looked through the reported deaths in the area that have happened in the past few years." 

"Well, yeah," Brendon says "but that's kind of stupid when you think about it. Maybe he died from an illness or something else that wasn't exactly newsworthy." 

"Well, how are we supposed to find out if his death wasn't in the news?" Pete asks.

"Obituaries," Brendon answers. Pete lifts a skeptical eyebrow.

"You want to look through years worth of obituaries?" He asks.

"Do you have any better ideas?" 

"Well no, but–" 

"Listen, dude. You don't have to help me if you don't want to," Brendon says.

"No," Pete mutters "I want to help you." Brendon smiles.

"Good. Now let's go to the library and look through some obituaries. 

...

The get through five months worth of obituaries that afternoon before deciding to head home and try again the next night. 

"Thanks for the help," Brendon says to Pete when he drops him off.

"Yeah no problem," he says "although I gotta say, I always thought that ghosts would be more exciting than this." 

"Yeah, well, at least no ones getting possessed or murdered or anything." 

"Not yet," Pete says cheerfully and then drives off. Brendon shakes his head and smiles in amusement as he watches the car disappear down the road. 

When he enters the house he can hear his mother bustling around in the kitchen and the TV going in the living room. He wonders if the ghost is waiting for him in his room and immediately rushes upstairs to see. 

He releases a small sigh of relief when he finds the room empty and switches his light on. He frowns when he sees the shape of a book on his desk and crosses the room to further inspect it. 

It's a notebook, a plain, black, lined notebook that Brendon knows doesn't belong to him. He opens it up and flips through the pages, all of them are filled with handwriting that he doesn't recognize. 

Most of the writing appears to be poetry or lyrics or something.

It belongs to the ghost, he's sure of it. He turns to the first page and begins to read. 

The IV and the hospital bed, this was no accident, this was a therapeutic chain of events... the first line says. 

He spends the night reading the notebook, eyes riveted to the pages. The way the boy uses language makes Brendon feel for him, he can feel his anger, hot and gritty, he can feel his sadness, sluggish and heavy. This boy writes like he's bleeding. 

He reads his way through the whole thing, page after page of scratchy wobbly hand writing and hardly legible notes scrawled in the margins. It's three AM and his eyes are burning by the time he reaches the last page. 

Brendon thinks that poem is the most beautiful out of all of them,

I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home. 

He falls asleep with the book clutched against his chest and he can feel the gentlest fingers brushing against his cheek as he drifts off, he doesn't bother opening his eyes.

...

At school the next day, things have only escalated. Even the teachers seem kind of freaked out, Brendon is sure quite a few of them have been visited dead friends and relatives.

More than a couple kids aren't even there, so a lot of the teachers don't even try to teach and instead let them read or talk or give them pitifully easy work to do. There's a hushed, anxious atmosphere in the school, it reminds Brendon of his great aunt's funeral. 

"You look like shit," Pete remarks when he sees Brendon at lunch. 

"Thanks," he mutters. 

"Did not sleep last night? Was it because of the ghost?" 

"Kind of..." Brendon says. He's hesitant to tell Pete about the notebook, something about it feels private, like the boy intended it for his eyes only. He decides that he has to tell Pete, as long as he doesn't show him the boy's writing "he wasn't there, but he left me this notebook with a bunch of poetry in it. I stayed up all night reading it." Pete just stares at him for a minute.

"He left you a notebook?" He says, disbelievingly. 

"Yeah," Brendon says. Pete grins.

"What if there's some kind of clue?" He suggests. Brendon shakes his head. 

"No," he says "there isn't. I looked. It's all just poetry, none of it references specific people or places and there wasn't a name anywhere in the book." 

"You should let me see it I might be able to–" 

"No!" Brendon says, too quickly "It feels... personal. I don't want to violate his trust." 

"Violate his trust?" Pete scoffs "What the fuck, dude. He's a ghost, he's dead." 

"I'm not showing you the notebook," Brendon says firmly "drop it." Pete frowns.

"Whatever," he mutters "where's Gabe?" Brendon shrugs.

"No idea. I tried calling both him and William last night, but neither of them picked up and they're not replying to my texts. Last I saw him William was having some kind of break down." 

"Oh, shit. What happened?" Pete asks, clearly having forgotten about the notebook for the time being.

"No idea," Brendon says "I found him in the hallway looking like he was about to cry or something, he wouldn't tell me what was wrong so I went to find Gabe and tell him. I haven't seen either of them since." 

"You know, Bill's sort of been acting weird since the church." Pete says, frowning "Do you think it has something to do with the ghost thing?" 

"I don't know..." Brendon says uneasily "It must, right? The way he freaked out at the diner." 

"And we have yet another mystery to solve." Pete sighs and rests his head in his hands.


	5. cold skin

When he gets home, the boy is sitting on his bed, staring at his hands. Brendon is startled when he first sees him, but calms down immediately. It's funny how quickly he's gotten used to the situation. 

"Hi," he greets the ghost tentatively, he stays silent and looks up at Brendon with big eyes. 

"Did you like it? My poetry?" He asks in his echoey voice. Brendon swallows hard and nods.

"I did," he says quietly.

"Good," the boy says. 

"Can I ask you something?" The boy is quiet, which Brendon chooses to interpret as a yes "What's your name? It doesn't even need to be your full name." The boy just shakes his head sadly.

"No," he says "I'm sorry, but no." 

"Okay," Brendon sighs "will you tell me why you're visiting me?" 

"No," he says again. 

"Is there anything you will tell me?" 

"I gave you the notebook," he said. 

"Why won't you tell me who you are?" Brendon asks.

"You know who I am," he says "you read the notebook." Brendon frowns thoughtfully. It's true, in a way, the notebook may not have revealed the boy's name, but now Brendon knew his thoughts. His feelings. He knew things that Brendon doubts he ever shared with anyone else. 

"Yeah," he says "yeah. I guess you're right. Hey, I have a question. About your writing this time." 

"Okay," the boy says, nodding. 

"Those first songs, you know the one that was like 'watch your mouth because your speech is slurred enough' and then the next one that went 'the I.V. and your hospital bed, this was no accident', they sort of sounded like they were about the same person. Who?" 

"My dad," the boy answers without a moment's hesitation "he was an alcoholic, in and out of rehab a lot, you know?" Brendon wonders to himself why the boy refuses to tell him his name, but gives up information like this so readily. 

"Oh," Brendon says and frowns "that must have been hard." 

"Yeah," the boy nods.

"Did your mom leave you? I mean just judging from what you've written in here. 

"Yes," the boy says "but my friend's parents let me stay with them a lot, so it wasn't that terrible." 

At that moment his younger sister yells from downstairs. 

"I'm home!" With that, the boy disappears.

...

The ghost boy is there in Brendon's dreams again that night. He knows it is really him, he isn't just conjured up by Brendon's subconscious. He can feel it.

This time they're sitting on a beach. The sky is covered over with heavy, grey rain clouds, but the sand is warm where Brendon touches it. 

"There's going to be a storm," the boy says, looking out over the dark, choppy ocean. 

"Where is this?" Brendon asks. 

"We used to come here on vacation," the boy answers "when I was really young. Before my mom left." 

"How old were when she left?" Brendon asks the ghost.

"Nine," he says "I don't blame her though. My dad was such a dick to her and I was never the easiest kid to take care of." 

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault she left," Brendon says frowning. 

"It was," he says, his eyes are still fixed on the ocean, Brendon doesn't think the boy has looked at him once during the entire conversation "I was a really nervous kid. I was afraid of everything asking for reassurance from her. It irritated her," he pauses "You know something funny? I had this fear one day she would leave for work and not come back, and then one day she didn't." Brendon opens his mouth to speak but doesn't know what he can possibly say, so instead of talking he gently touches the boy's cheek. 

He half expects his hand to move right through the boy, but it meets cold, solid skin. 

... 

"Hey," Brendon's mother says, Brendon groans and buries his face in his pillow, assuming he's slept through his alarm and going to be late for school "school is cancelled, honey." Brendon sits up.

"What? Why?" He says groggily. It's only October, so it definitely isn't a snow day. 

"I'm not entirely sure to be honest," she says "they were very vague in the message they left, something about low student attendance and unspecified circumstances, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough." Brendon has to choke back a laugh. The ghost thing has really gotten so bad that they have to cancel school because of it. 

He knows his friends are probably taking the opportunity to sleep in, so he doesn't call or text any of them. Brendon really should follow their examples, but now he's awake and hungry, so he decides to go to Rosie's diner instead. 

This is one of the rare occasions that using his car is a necessity, it's a beat up junk heap that just barely runs. He got it for five-hundred dollars when he was sixteen. Usually he manages to hitch rides with his friends or parents, he knows that the car won't hold up very well if put to excessive use. 

He nearly has a heart attack when he finds the boy sitting in the passenger's side. He wonders in the back of his mind if he'll ever really have a moment to himself again, and then he wonders if he minds. 

"Hi," the boy says casually.

"You have to stop scaring me like this," Brendon mumbles, sliding into the driver's seat. 

"Where are we going?" the boy asks. He doesn't seem sad and wilted like he had in the dream the previous night, in fact if it wasn't for that slightly faded quality and the faint echo that follows his voice, Brendon could almost believe he's a living person. 

"Ugh," the boy groans "I miss food. Breakfast food most of all. What I wouldn't give to be able to eat, like a huge stack of pancakes."

"What's it like?" Brendon asks "Being a–a you know..." 

"I'm not gonna get offended if you say ghost," the boy says, smiling softly "Everything is sort of muffled and muted. Like I'm watching through a warped glass window or something."

"Can you touch things? Or does your hand just go through them?" 

"I can't," the boy says.

"That sucks," Brendon says, sympathetically.

"Yeah. A lot of stuff about being a ghost kind of sucks," the boy laughs. 

"Is it overstepping my boundaries to ask how you died?" Brendon gets his answer when a dark look passes over the boy's face and he promptly disappears into thin air. He sighs and drives on. 

He still feels guilty for asking the ghost boy such invasive questions when he pulls into the parking lot of Rosie's diner. The bell chimes above his head when he walks in.

He's surprised to spot Pete sitting in a booth next to a boy he vaguely recognizes from around school, but who's name he doesn't know. 

"Hey Pete," he says as he gets close enough. Pete looks startled to see him, his eyes are wide. 

"Oh. Uh, hi Brendon," Pete says. 

"Hi, who's this?" He asks, glancing at the boy who has a beanie shoved over his streaky highlighted hair and white framed glasses. 

"Oh. Right. This is Mikey."

"Hi," Mikey says "Brendon, right?" 

"Yeah," Brendon answers "Is it okay if I eat with you guys?" 

"Actually we were just leaving," Pete says. He grabs Mikey's arm and practically drags him out of the diner, leaving Brendon to stare after them in confusion.

"Great," Brendon mutters to himself "now Pete's acting weird too."


	6. ripping the veil

While he's eating his pancakes and obsessing over Pete's weird behavior Brendon's phone starts to wring. He pulls it out of his pocket and sees that it's Jon.

"Hey," he says "what's up?"

"Can you believe this!" Jon says, without even a perfunctory greeting "Other schools get cancelled because of weather or like, power outages, but ours gets the day off because of fucking ghosts. Jesus Christ." 

"Yep," Brendon says dryly "good old St Marysville. What are you doing today?"

"Me and Pete were planning on dropping by William's house. I mean, something is obviously up with him, and Gabe too for that matter. They're both ignoring my and Pete's calls and texts, and I'm going to assume their not replying to yours either?" 

"Nope," Brendon says "hey, do you know a kid named Mikey who goes to our school?" 

"Yeah. Mikey Way. I think he's a sophomore, why?" 

"Pete was in Rosie's with him a couple of minutes ago. He was acting really weird when I talked to him, I was wondering if it might have something to do with this Mikey guy." 

"Just what we need," Jon says miserably "someone else to starting to act weird." 

"That's what I thought," Brendon mutters "anyways, can I come to Bill's with you guys?" 

"Duh. That's why I was calling you. Pick you up at your house in like an hour?" 

"Yep. See you then." with that Brendon hangs up and finishes the last bites of his pancakes before heading home.

...

When Jon pulls into Brendon's driveway, Pete is already sitting in the passenger's seat. 

"Hey," Jon says as Brendon climbs into the backseat.

"So, Pete," Brendon starts as Jon drives off "who was that Mikey guy?"

"He's no one," Pete mutters.

"Come on, dude," Brendon prods "he's obviously someone." Pete remains silent "We're your best friends Pete!"

"Fine!" he says "Mikey is my boyfriend!" Brendon's eyes go wide and he's pretty sure Jon almost swerved off the road or slams on the brakes or something equally dramatic. 

"He's your what?" Brendon asks at the same time as Jon says,

"You have a boyfriend?" 

"Yes," Pete says tensely.

"How long have you been dating him?" Brendon asks, disbelief still evident in his tone.

"Uh. Since last April," 

"You've been dating someone for over half a year and you haven't told us?" Jon asks. 

"Mikey wasn't really comfortable with many people knowing he was into guys, the only people who knew were Patrick and like three of Mikey's friends. It's nothing personal." 

"God," Brendon mutters "how did you manage to hide a relationship from us for seven months? I didn't even think you were friends." 

"We were careful," Pete shrugs "we didn't even really go out in public together until really recently." They pull into William's driveway. 

"I guess Gabe's already here," Jon says, Brendon looks out the window to see Gabe's car parked in the driveway. The three boys get out of the car and approach the door. Jon is the one to knock, three sharp raps against the wood. There's a long pause before he knocks again, harder and more insistent this time. There are footsteps and muffled voices and then after a minute door opens just a crack. Gabe peeks out at them. 

"Oh," he says "hey guys. Bill is sort of busy right now so–" 

"Bullshit," Jon says firmly "you two have been acting really weird and as your closest friends we have a right to know what the hell is going on." 

"Listen," Gabe says tiredly "it's complicated so–" with that Pete shoves the door hard enough that Gabe loses his balance and stumbles backwards, he's caught off guard long enough so Pete, Jon and Brendon have the opportunity to get through the door and shove past Gabe.

"Who is it, Gabe?" William shouts from the kitchen. Gabe looks uncharacteristically stressed out. Pete, Brendon and Jon exchange glances before all heading in the direction of the kitchen. 

"Guys! This is not a good idea, I'm serious," Gabe says, trailing behind them. They ignore him. 

When Brendon walks through the doorway into the kitchen, it takes him a minute to fully realize that there's something unusual happening. But then he sees the ancient, leather bound books with pentagrams embossed in gold on the covers stacked on the table, the vials and jars of strange substances that Brendon's not sure he wants to identify, the excess of lit candles and of course the ouija board in the center of it all.

William snaps the book he's reading shut and looks up at them with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bill," Gabe says "I couldn't stop them." 

"Fuck," William mutters under his breath "would you all believe me if I told you this was a school project?" He's met only by unamused silence "Fuck. Right. I guess I have to explain myself then." William groans and buries his face in his hands "Alright, so I'm sure you're all aware of the ghost thing that's been going on. You especially, Brendon." 

"Yeah, I'm aware!" Brendon says, narrowing his eyes at William "but last I checked you refused to believe that I even saw a ghost." 

"Well, that's because I didn't want to believe it," he says "because I knew that if this town had a ghost infestation I would have to be the one to stop it." 

"What?" Pete chimes in, looking slightly sick. 

"I'll start at the beginning," William says, sighing "back in the nineteenth century there was a man living in this town, his wife was   
sick with some incurable illness and she died. Everyone loved this woman, she was kind and generous and friends with pretty much everyone in town, so after her death her grief stricken husband and closest friends decided they were going to get her back. I don't know how, but they managed to get their hands on a book with instructions on ripping the veil." 

"Ripping the veil?" Jon asks. 

"It's an insanely complicated ritual that basically makes a tiny tear in a specific area of the veil between worlds. It allows spirits to pass from the beyond to our world with virtually no effort," William explains "so this lady's husband and friends decided to preform this ritual, hoping to see her again, they didn't seem to care that it would allow any other ghosts who had died in the area back into the world. They did it in the woods behind that church and were successful, within a few hours people were being visited by their dead relatives left and right. That's where my family came in. My great-great grandmother was an incredibly skilled witch–"

"A witch?" Jon says. 

"Yes, Jon, a witch," William says and rolls his eyes "anyways, my great-great grandmother figured out a way to close up the rip in the veil. Closing up the rip is even harder than opening it, which is saying something. Her grimoire–"

"That means spell book," Gabe interjects.

"–has been passed down through generations, that's where she wrote the instructions for closing the rip. My family has always been prepared for someone to reopen it, it's much easier to open if somebody's done it before. My mom warned about me about it when I was just a kid, she told me that if it happened it would be our responsibility to fix, now that she's gone, it's just my responsibility."

"So a-are you a witch?" Jon asks.

"Yes," William says "warlock is the term we use for male witches." 

"Why do you need to close the rip?" Brendon asks quietly "What's the harm in people being able to see their relatives again?" William sighs.

"It's never a good thing to upset the natural order of life and death," he says "and there's also the issue of vengeful or angry ghosts. A lot of times ghosts with unresolved anger come back with less inhibitions than they had when they were alive and end up hurting people. It's only a matter of time before something like that happens." Brendon nods to himself.

"If you know how, haven't you closed it yet?" Jon asks.

"See, the thing is the spell to close the rip requires the willing involvement of the people who opened it in the first place," William says "and I don't even know who opened it, much less how to convince them to help me close it." 

Pete looks like he's about to lose his breakfast all over William's kitchen floor. 

"Fuck," Brendon mutters "this is insane." 

"More insane than being haunted by a ghost?" William asks. Brendon chuckles.

"I guess you've got a point," 

"While we're on the subject, have you seen the ghost since that night in the church?" 

"Yeah," Brendon says "a few times actually. Hey, can I ask you a question?" 

"Shoot," William says. 

"Do you know why the ghost of a stranger would be visiting me?" Brendon asks.

"No, actually," William says and frowns "that's weird. Usually they only appear to friends or relatives, though I guess there could be some exceptions..." 

"Like when?" 

"I'm not sure," William says "sorry." 

"Can we go?" Pete asks suddenly "There's something I need to do..." Jon gives him an inquisitive look.

"Sure," he says "see you guys later?" 

"I guess," William shrugs "now that you know you might even be able to help us." Brendon and Jon say goodbye and follow a very uncomfortable looking Pete Wentz out of the house.


	7. meant to haunt you

Brendon isn't even surprised when he opens his door and finds the ghost boy sitting on his bed.

"I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly earlier," he says before Brendon can speak "just, touchy subject, you know?" With everything that has happened it takes Brendon a minute to realize what he's talking about.

"Yeah, I can imagine," he says "I'm sorry. That was really insensitive of me." 

"No... I get it, you're curious. Who wouldn't be? I know I haven't been very good about answering your questions." 

"It's okay. There's just one thing I really want to know, why have you been appearing to me?" The boy takes a deep breath.

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to think I'm weird or pathetic anything," he says. Brendon smiles gently.

"I promise," he says, and if the boy was alive and solid Brendon would take his hand. 

"Do you remember preforming at an open mike night at that cafe in town?" 

"Yeah," Brendon says. That was only last spring. He played the piano and sang a song he'd written. 

"I was in the audience," he says. Brendon realizes that this means this boy had been alive only half a year ago "that song you played, the one that was about the impossible year, I heard it and I was just– I don't even know what I can say. I felt like it was about me. I felt like you knew me. And I thought your voice was so beautiful. I remember sitting there in awe until all the rest of the acts were over. After that I would see you around town and I wanted to talk to you, I imagined exactly what I would say but in the end I would always back out. When I... came back I appeared in that church. I didn't make a conscious decision about it, I just did, and then you and your friends walked in and again I didn't choose to appear to only you, I just did. After that I realized I was kind of meant to haunt or visit you or whatever, so I followed you." 

"Wait, I didn't see you," Brendon says "can you make yourself invisible?"

"I haven't been watching you get dressed or anything," he assures Brendon, smiling. Brendon laughs. 

"Right, yeah," he says "I didn't think you were." Silence stretched between them for a brief moment and they exchange soft smiles.

"I wish you had talked to me," Brendon says "I wish I could have known you when you were alive." 

"Yeah," the boy smiles sadly "I-I wish I had known you when I was alive too." 

"Can I ask you something else?" 

"Sure," the boy says. 

"Will you tell me like a nickname or something that I can call you? It doesn't even have to be related to your real name at all." The boys chews his lips contemplatively.

"Ryan," he says "you can call me Ryan." Brendon smiles.

"Ryan," he repeats, turning the name over on his tongue "I like it." 

Ryan smiles his lopsided smile and something in Brendon's chest flutters. 

He sort of hopes William never closes the rip. 

...

School is cancelled again the next day, Brendon doesn't know how long they can cancel school because of the ghost problem, but Brendon isn't complaining. 

He sits around the house listening to music with Ryan until Jon calls him around noon. 

"Hey," Brendon says. 

"Hey, Brendon," Jon greets him "me and Cassie and one of her friends are going bowling. You want to come?" Brendon raises an eyebrow even though he knows Jon can't see him. 

"Let me get this straight," Brendon says "there's a ghost infestation and we just found out one of our best friends is a fucking warlock and you want to go bowling with your girlfriend?" 

"Yeah, why not," Jon says. Brendon laughs softly. 

"Alright, sure I'll come bowling with you." He says, rolling his eyes affectionately. 

"Cool, I'll pick you up in like half an hour." Jon says and then hangs up.

"You're going bowling?" Ryan asks, doing a bad job of covering up his disappointment.

"Yeah. Wish you could come," he says. Ryan looks a little bit more cheerful when Brendon says that. 

They listen to music a while longer until Jon texts Brendon to say he's waiting outside. 

"See you tonight?" Brendon asks, posing it as more of a question than anything else. 

"Not like I've got anywhere else to be," Ryan answers, smiling. Brendon laughs and goes to meet Jon. Cassie is sitting in the passenger's seat so he gets in back, he's surprised to find another boy already sitting in the seat beside his own. He has shaggy brown hair and looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world. 

"Hey," Jon says "Brendon have you met Spencer before?" 

"No," Brendon says. 

"Oh, well, Brendon this is Spencer, Spencer this is Brendon." The sulky kid lifts his hand in a halfhearted wave "He goes to the catholic school with Cassie." 

Brendon spends the car ride staring out the window as Cassie and Jon talk and laugh incessantly in the front seat. If he thought he could manage to get a word in he would try to join the conversation. 

He's relieved when they arrive at the bowling alley. It's called Sunnyside Bowling and Brendon is pretty sure it wouldn't pass a health inspection, but it has a kind of dilapidated, retro charm so Brendon doesn't mind. 

They've come so often that when they go up to the counter to rent shoes the man behind the counter, a college drop out named Cody, doesn't even ask their shoe sizes.

"Brendon! Jon! Cassie!" He says "You guys haven't been in in like forever!" He says as he goes to grab them the correct shoes.

"Busy with school and stuff," Jon explains. And by stuff he means dealing with ghosts, Brendon thinks to himself. They slip on their bowling shoes and choose out one of the few empty lanes, there are quite a few people bowling today, mostly middle aged and elderly couples or people with young kids. 

Spencer goes first and as soon as he's out of earshot Jon asks Cassie.

"What's up with Spencer?" Cassie bites her lip and she looks down at her hands.

"His best friend Ryan killed himself about a month ago," Brendon feels a cold wave of shock coarse through his body.

"Wh-what?" He asks.

"Yeah," Cassie says, glancing up at Spencer who's getting ready to roll the ball a second time "they were really close and then like a little over a month ago the dude ODs on sleeping pills. Spencer's barely manages to function, you have no idea what it took to get him to come do this today." 

"And you said this friend's name was Ryan?" 

"Yeah," Cassie nods. 

Brendon stares down at his shaking hands.

There's no chance this is a different Ryan. 

He's found out what he wanted to, only now he sort of wishes he never did. 

He goes through the rest of the game on auto pilot, aimlessly rolling the ball down the lane with no particular intention of hitting any pins when it's his turn to bowl. 

He feels sick to his stomach during the car ride home. When Jon drops him off he leaps out of the car as it's barely stopped moving and rushes up to his room, praying that he'll find Ryan waiting for him.

He's there, sitting on Brendon's bed as usual.

"I found out how you died," Brendon bursts out immediately, Ryan winces as if he's in physical pain. 

"How?" He asks in a shaky voice.

"My friend has a friend who knows your best friend. A dude named Spencer?" Ryan's eyes widen.

"Spencer," he says softly "did you see him? How is he?" 

"Yeah, I saw him. He seems... sad. Why haven't you visited him?" Brendon asks.

"I'm afraid that he hates me," Ryan says. 

"I don't think he hates you. People don't get miserable like that when someone they hate dies," Brendon says. 

"I just... I can't," Ryan says, shaking his head. 

"His friend said that he's barely functioning, I don't know the dude, but if it was me I would want you to visit me." Ryan looks down at his hands and Brendon sees his eyes glitter with tears. 

"I know I should," he says "I just... would you come with me?" 

"Yes," Brendon says "yes of course."


	8. do you regret it?

They drive to Spencer's house the next day with Ryan giving Brendon directions from the passenger's seat. The neighborhood he lives in is a lot more populated than Brendon's, the houses are lined up almost side by side.

They pull up in front of a boxy, white suburban house with a neat square of lawn out front. Brendon glances at Ryan. He's looking at the innocuous house like it's some great and terrifying beast. 

"Hey," he says "you alright?" 

"Yeah... I'm just–" he says "you know how I told you that I had a friend who I stayed with a lot of the time? That was Spencer. We were really close, like best friends since we were little kids, you know? This thing is just so weird. I don't know how he's going to react to me." 

"I'm sure he'll be understanding," Brendon says, actually he's not, but he knows it's what Ryan needs to hear. 

"I don't know," Ryan says shaking his head "let's just do it already." Brendon nods and gets out of the car, they walk, well Brendon walks while Ryan floats, across the lawn and to the front door. Brendon knocks three times and within two minutes a middle aged woman with dark circles under her eyes and greying brown hair opens the door. 

"Hi," Brendon says "I'm a friend of Spencer's, is he here right now?" The woman's face lights up when he mentions that he's friends with Spencer. 

"Yes!" She says "Come in." Brendon enters the front hall, Ryan following close behind "Spencer is up in his room," the woman says, pointing up a flight of stairs "second door on the left." 

"Thank you," Brendon says and he and Ryan walk up the stairs, Ryan look increasingly nauseated as they get closer to Spencer's room. Brendon knocks on his bedroom door, taking a deep breath. 

"What is it, mom?" Comes a voice from inside.

"Um. It's not your mom. It's Brendon." There's no answer for a moment and then the door opens. 

"What are you–" and then Spencer notices Ryan and just stares open mouthed for a minute "Ryan?" He says quietly.

"Hey Spence," Ryan says, a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. 

"What the fuck," Spencer says and then again "what the actual fuck?" Ryan's already feeble smile falters. 

"I–" 

"Why did you– why did you do what you did?" Spencer asks indignantly "How could you even consider doing something like that?" 

"I'm sorry Spencer," Ryan says, his voice is pleading. 

"You were going to do so much," Spencer says, Brendon can see the beginnings of tears glittering in his eyes. Ryan shakes his head sadly.

"I wasn't. I was tired Spence. It wasn't your fault, it was just me. I couldn't do it any more." 

"Why didn't you at least visit me?" Spencer says, he sounds more hurt than he does angry.

"I'm visiting you now," Ryan says.

"But why not first thing? Also, what the fuck does he have to do with any of this," Spencer says, pointing at Brendon.

"I didn't visit you because I was afraid you'd be mad at me," Ryan says "and as for Brendon, well that's complicated." 

"Do you regret it?" Spencer practically spits"Killing yourself?" 

"I–I don't know," Ryan says "I know if I were still alive I would be suffering. I feel better, I don't have to deal with kids at school or my dad or any of that stuff. I feel... at peace." 

"Fuck that," Spencer says "get out of my house." 

"Let's go," Ryan says quietly, Brendon swallows hard and follows him downstairs and back to his car. Ryan is crying as they drive away, his shoulders trembling and his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry," Brendon says, his voice hardly audible "I'm so sorry." But Ryan disappears without saying a word. 

...

"So," William says, slapping a folder onto the table "this is our list of suspects." They're sitting in a booth in a secluded corner of the diner. Brendon is too preoccupied with thoughts of what happened with Ryan earlier to pay much attention to Gabe and Bill. 

"That's... a lot of suspects," Patrick remarks. 

"Yeah, well, it's basically a list of everyone who lives in this town whose relative or close friend has died in the past few months," Bill says.

"That we know of," Gabe adds, helpfully.

"We're asking for you guys to help us narrow it down," William says "will you?" 

There's a chorus of 'yeses' and 'of courses' from Patrick, Jon and Brendon. Jon grabs the folder from the table and takes a look inside. 

"Wait," he says frowning "Pete's boyfriend is a suspect?" 

"Pete has a boyfriend?" William asks, eyes wide with surprise. 

"Yeah. Brendon and I just found out a few days ago," Jon answers.

"Who is he?" Gabe says.

"You guys know Mikey Way?" Jon asks. William winces at the name. "What?" Jon frowns.

"He's kinda one of our top suspects," Gabe explains "well, he and his group of friends." 

"Why?" Brendon asks.

"I know that his brother, Gerard, was really close to their grandmother who died like two months ago," William says "plus, it's not exactly unheard of for some edgy goth kids to fuck around with the supernatural." Brendon frowned thoughtfully, William did have a point.

"Where is Pete anyways?" Jon asks.

"I told him Gabe and Bill wanted to talk to us, but he told me he was busy," Patrick says "he's actually been acting really weird these past few days." 

"I know," Brendon says "actually ever since I saw him that morning in Rosie's with Mikey something had seemed off about him." The idea strikes Brendon at about the same time it hits everyone else and they all exchange an uneasy look. 

"You don't think...?" Jon trails off. 

"That Pete knows Mikey and his friends are the ones who ripped the veil? I think it's entirely possible," William, who looks paler than usual and slightly sick, says. 

"Does this mean we've got to confront him? Gabe groans.

"I think we have to," William says.


	9. i could have loved you

"Alright, see you in a few minutes," Patrick says and hangs up, then he turns to his friends who have been watching him silently and expectantly throughout his phone conversation with Pete.

"So he's coming?" William asks.

"Yep," Patrick confirms. Brendon had half expected Pete not to, but he supposes that as long as he thinks it's just Patrick it wouldn't make sense for him to refuse the invitation.

"It doesn't seem like something Pete would do," Jon says "I think you're wrong." That's when Patrick, who has been all but silent on the matter, speaks up. 

"I have no doubt that he'd do it," he says "you guys haven't heard the way he talks about Mikey. I don't think there's anything he wouldn't do for that dude." 

Everyone sits in somber silence for a couple of minutes before Patrick's bedroom door opens and Pete walks in.

"Hey, Patrick–" he stops abruptly when he sees everyone in the room "what are you guys doing here?" He asks.

"Pete," William says in a voice that you might use with someone who's violent and holding a gun or maybe a wild animal "there's something we want to talk to you about." Pete's eyes widen and he swallows, hard. 

"Okay," Pete says "what?" 

"Come sit down," Patrick says, patting the space on his bed beside him. Pete complies.

"This feels like an intervention or something," he says with a nervous chuckle. No one else laughs. 

"So," William says once he's seated "we need to talk about your boyfriend, Mikey." 

"What about him?" Pete asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We have reason to believe that he and his friends are involved in the ripping of the veil and we think you might know something about it," William says, his voice calm. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," says Pete. 

"Cut the bullshit, Pete," Gabe says bluntly "we all know you're lying." 

"If we don't fix this, lives could be at stake," William says "this isn't a joke. You need to tell us what you know right now." There's a moment of tense silence before Pete speaks again.

"Fine," Pete says, letting out a sigh "a few days ago Mikey told me that he and his friends performed that ritual you talked about. They didn't mean any harm, he and his brother just wanted to see their grandmother again." 

"Thank you for telling us, Pete," William says "now you need to get Mikey and his friends and bring them to me as soon as you possibly can." 

...

Brendon, Jon, Patrick, Gabe and William all pile into Gabe's car and head over to William's house while Pete goes to find Mikey and his friends. 

"I need for this to be over with all ready," William says. 

"It will be soon," Gabe assures his boyfriend "Now that we've found out who it is we just need to perform the ritual." 

"Easier said than done," William says. Brendon tunes him and Gabe out and stares at the scenery flashing by. He thought that he could give Ryan some closure or help him take care of unfinished business, but he had only made things worse and now it was only a matter of time before Ryan was sent back to the other side. 

He only hopes that Ryan will visit him again before William and Gabe perform the ritual. 

They pull into William's driveway and all climb out of the car. As soon as they get inside William disappears into the kitchen saying something about making preparations. 

"I'm going to go out back," Brendon says "I think I need some air." Thankfully, no one questions him or offers to join him. He goes out the back door and sits cross legged in the grass. He takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut "Ryan?" He asks "I have no idea if you can hear me, but if you can, I'm so sorry and I want to see you." There's no answer, but when he opens his eyes Ryan is sitting on the ground in front of him, hugging his knees to his chest 

"Hi," he says quietly.

"Ryan," Brendon says "I'm so, so sorry. The thing with Spencer was all my fault. I understand if–"

"Shh," Ryan says gently "It's alright. You were trying to help and Spencer has every right to be mad at me. I'm still glad that I saw him again." 

"Why?" Brendon asks.

"Because he's my best friend," Ryan says simply "and he deserved an explanation. He's mad at me right now, but I know that he's going to forgive me someday. I'm not sure he would if I never visited him." 

"I'm glad you feel good about it," Brendon says, wishing desperately that he could reach out and hold Ryan's hand "because you're going to have to go back to the other side soon." Ryan is not at all surprised, he nods calmly.

"I knew I would sooner or later," he says "can I ask a favor of you?" 

"Of course," Brendon says "what?" 

"Sing to me?" Brendon nods and clears his throat. 

"When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back," he begins, Ryan sighs and closes his eyes. 

Part way through the song someone opens the back door, Brendon stops singing abruptly. 

"Pete's here," Jon says from William's back porch "and he brought Mikey and his friends."

"Alright," Brendon calls back "Just give me a minute."

"Okay," Jon says and retreats into the house. Brendon turns to Ryan.

"In case we don't see each other again, I want to tell you that I think I could've loved you." 

"Yeah," Ryan says smiling sadly "I could've loved you too." Brendon swallows thickly and blinks his tears away. He stands up, walks towards the door and doesn't look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one last chapter after this one! holy shit, can you even believe it? me finishing something for once in my life? also there will at some point be an epilogue if i ever write the damn thing


	10. the end of all things

He follows the sound of voices to the kitchen, which is crowded with people. William is hunched over one of his old, handwritten books. Pete, Mikey, and a two guys Brendon doesn't recognize are  screaming incoherently at each other while Patrick, Gabe and a dude with an impressive mane of curly hair try to calm them down. 

"I can't believe you told someone! You promised that you wouldn't!" Mikey shouts at Pete. 

"You're one to talk," scoffs a boy with slightly greasy black hair and dark eye makeup "you weren't supposed to tell him in the first place!" 

"Oh shut up," Pete says venomously "no one would be in this mess if it wasn't for you." 

"Leave him the fuck alone," a short boy with tattoos says "or I swear to god I will beat your ass." 

"Frank," the guy with the hair says with the air of an exhausted parent "relax." 

"This isn't helping anyone," Patrick says in a desperate attempt to stop the fighting, the four boys just continue their yelling. 

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Gabe roars so loudly that everyone stops and stares at him, then he says much quieter "Bill is about to get your sorry asses out of the mess that you made, so if you would kindly listen to what he has to say." 

Frank glares and the black haired guy crosses his arms defensively over his chest, but both of them are silent along with everything else.

"Thank you Gabe," William says, and then turns to address the group of boys gathered in his kitchen "All right, so can you tell me exactly what happened?"

"We we're trying to bring my and Gerard's grandmother back," Mikey supplies "we used this ritual Frank and Gee found in this old book in that thrift shop on Cemetery Drive. We did it last Friday at like nine PM out in the woods by that abandoned church. At first we didn't think it worked because she didn't come to us, but the next day we heard people talking about the ghosts they'd seen and something had worked." Both the black haired boy and Frank shoot glares at Mikey. 

"Okay," William says, nodding "and it was just the four of you?" 

"Yep," Mikey says.

"So, I guess we can do it right now. Assuming you're all willing to participate in the ritual," William says. 

Mikey, Frank and the two other strangers drop the hostility to exchange looks with each other. Frank is the one to speak.

"Fine," he says "we'll do it, whatever." 

"Can I ask a question?" Mikey says. William nods. "Do you know why our grandmother didn't come back even though so many other people did?"

"Some spirits feel at peace with their lives. They're satisfied with what they did while they were on this side and have no desire to come back," William says. Mikey nods thoughtfully.

"So I guess it's sort of a good thing that she didn't come back," he says. William smiles gently.

"Yeah," he says "it is a good thing." 

...

William says that not everyone needs to come, but Pete, Brendon and Gabe insist. Jon and Patrick say they'll wait at home. 

They all meet in the field in front of the church and William starts to explain the process of the ritual. Brendon stares up at the church and ignores him.

"Hey," he interrupts "I'm going into the church, alright?" William nods absently. Brendon picks his way carefully through the field and up to the doors of the dilapidated church where it all began only a week ago, though it feels longer. He doesn't feel afraid like he did that night, just grey and cold like there's a stone in his stomach. 

He opens the doors, takes a deep breath and steps into the rotting building. He half expects to see Ryan sitting in one of the pews, but the room is empty. 

He walks down the aisle slowly, carefully and takes a seat in a pew. He takes a deep breath and begins to sing. 

"Whether near or far, I am always yours," he sings, although it comes out dressed in a sob. He can't stop turning it over in his head, the idea of what could've been "Lay us down, we're in love." The irrational part of his brain urges him to rush outside and stop the ritual, insist that William just let the ghosts stay, but he knows any attempt would be pointless. 

"It's okay," comes a gentle voice from beside him, it's Ryan, sitting in the pews next to him. 

"I'm going to miss you," Brendon chokes out "I just... I wish things could be different." 

"I know," Ryan says "I know." 

"I've never met anyone like you before and it's not just because you're a ghost either, just everything about you is so..." Brendon trails off, searching for the right word "there's something about you. About the way that you write and talk and do everything that makes you seem unreal, almost godly, you would've gone places Ryan." 

"'Would haves' are pointless," Ryan says "but I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to know you when I was alive." 

"If you did, do you think you would've..." Brendon trails off.

"I don't think anyone could've helped me," Ryan assures him. There's a moment of silence before Ryan speaks again. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything," Brendon says.

"Keep singing after I'm gone. Sing my songs. Your voice is going to help people, it helped me," Ryan says.

"It wasn't enough," 

"Nothing was enough for me," Ryan says "It will be for someone." Brendon nods solemnly.

"I will," he says "I'll keep singing, I'll do it for you." Ryan smiles and then he's gone and Brendon knows it's the last time he will see him. 

Brendon lets out a long, shuttering breath and breaks off into a sob, burying his face in his hands. It's only a moment before the church door opens and Pete steps in.

"Hey," he says "it's done. It worked." Brendon wipes his wet eyes on the sleeve of his sweater. 

"Right," he says "good." 

"You look like you've been crying, are you okay?"

"Not right now," Brendon answers "but I will be."


End file.
